(12-14) Paul sends Onesimus back with the hope that Philemon will allow him to return again to Paul.
I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart, whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.
a. I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart: Onesimus had done something wrong in that he escaped from his master. It was time to set that right, so Paul was willing to send him back. Yet Paul obviously wanted Philemon to deal gently with Onesimus. Under Roman law the slave owner had complete and total control over his slave. It wasn’t unusual for slaves to be crucified for lesser offenses than escaping.
i. One ancient writer described how a slave carried a tray of crystal goblets, and he dropped and broke one. The master instantly demanded the slave be thrown into a fishpond full of lampreys that tore the slave to pieces. “Roman law… practically imposed no limits to the power of the master over his slave. The alternative of life or death rested solely with Philemon, and slaves were constantly crucified for far lighter offenses than this.” (Lightfoot)
ii. Considering the huge number of slaves in the Roman Empire, they thought the harsh punishment against escaped or rebellious slaves was necessary. In an Empire with as many as 60 million slaves, there were constant fears of a slave revolt. Therefore, laws against runaways were strict. When captured, a runaway slave might be crucified, or branded with a red-hot iron on the forehead with the letter “F” for fugitive.
iii. Considering this, we understand Paul’s phrase that is, my own heart. “Philemon, I know this man has done you wrong and deserves to be punished. But consider him as my own heart and be merciful to him.”
b. Whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel: Clearly, Paul wanted Onesimus to stay, because he had become a big help. Paul sweetened his appeal in three ways.
i. First, if Onesimus stayed he could serve Paul on your behalf. “Philemon, if you leave Onesimus with me, it’s like you serving me, because Onesimus is your rightful servant.”
ii. Secondly, if Onesimus stayed he helped a man in chains. “Philemon, I know Onesimus might be of some use to you. Yet I am in chains and need all the help I can get.”
iii. Thirdly, if Onesimus stayed he helped a man in chains for the gospel. “Philemon, please don’t forget why I am here in chains. Remember that it is for the sake of the gospel.”
c. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing: Paul made his appeal and made it strong and skillfully. At the same time, he really did leave the decision to Philemon. He would appeal in love, but he would not trample over the rights of Philemon.
d. That your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary: This explained why Paul would not force a decision on Philemon. If Paul demanded it, then Philemon’s good deed would come by compulsion, and not be voluntary. This would make the whole affair unpleasant and rob Philemon of any reward he otherwise might have had.
i. Essentially, Paul gave Philemon the freedom to do what was right in love before the Lord, and he gave the freedom to do it on his own choice and not out of Paul’s compulsion.
3. (15-16) Paul explains the providential hand of God at work in Onesimus’ escape.
For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave—a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
a. Departed for a while: It was true that Onesimus departed, but Paul would send him back. Somehow departed for a while doesn’t sound nearly as bad as escaped slave.
i. In writing departed for a while, Paul spoke softly of a slave’s escape. Clarke said of this phrase, “This is another most delicate stroke.”
b. For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose: In some ways the escape of Onesimus was nothing but trouble. It deprived Philemon of a worker and an asset. It made Onesimus a criminal, possibly subject to the death penalty. Yet in it all, Paul could see a purpose of God and he wanted Philemon to see the purpose also.
i. The phrase, “for perhaps” is important. It showed that Paul did not come to Philemon in this manner: “Philemon, God has shown me His hidden hand at work, and you must accept what I see also.” Instead, for perhaps means Paul’s heart is like this: “Philemon, it seems to me that God is working in unusual ways here. Let me tell you what I see, and perhaps it will make sense to you.”
c. That you may receive him forever: This was one aspect of the purpose Paul saw God working in the escape of Onesimus. Philemon the master lost a slave; but Philemon the Christian gained a brother, and he gained that brother forever.
i. “Here the apostle makes the best of an ill-matter. Converts are to be gently handled, and their former evil practices not to be aggravated.” (Trapp)
d. That you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave; a beloved brother: Paul “re-introduced” Onesimus to Philemon; not as a slave, but as a brother. In this relationship as brothers and not slaves, Paul effectively abolished the sting of the “master-slave” relationship and laid the foundation for the eventual legal abolition of slavery. If a man is a stranger, I might make him my slave. But how can my brother be my slave?
i. This breaking of the distinction between master and slave was an absolutely revolutionary development. It did far more to change society than the passing of a law prohibiting slavery.
ii. “What the letter to Philemon does is to bring the institution into an atmosphere where it could only wilt and die. Where master and slave were united in affection as brothers in Christ, formal emancipation would be but a matter of expediency, the legal confirmation of their new relationship.” (Bruce)
iii. The transformation of the individual is the key to the transformation of society and the moral environment. “But mark this word, – the true reforming of the drunkard lies in giving him a new heart; the true reclaiming of the harlot is to be found in a renewed nature…. I see certain of my brethren fiddling away at the branches of the tree of vice with their wooden saws, but, as for the gospel, it lays the axe at the roots of the whole forest of evil, and if it be fairly received into the heart it fells all the bad trees at once, and instead of them there spring up the fir tree, the pine tree, and the box tree together, to beautify the house of our Master’s glory.” (Spurgeon)
4. (17-19) Paul’s personal promise of restitution towards Philemon.
If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account. I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay—not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides.
a. If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me: Again, Paul stood beside Onesimus, requesting mercy. “If I am your partner in the gospel, then treat Onesimus like you would treat me.”
i. Paul’s appeal is powerful because he stood beside a guilty man and said to the owner of the slave, “I know this man is a criminal and deserves punishment. Yet this slave is my friend, so if you punish him punish me also. I stand beside him to take his punishment.” This is what Jesus does for us before our master, God the Father.
b. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account: Apparently when Onesimus escaped he also stole from Philemon. This in itself was a capital crime. Paul asked that the value of what had been stolen be “charged” to Paul’s account. “Put it on my tab, Philemon.”
c. I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay: Paul was so serious about that he gave Philemon a personal IOU, written by his own hand. When Paul said to Philemon, “charge the wrong of Onesimus to my account,” he essentially did for Onesimus what Jesus did for us in taking our sins to His account.
i. “Here we see how Paul lays himself out for poor Onesimus, and with all his means pleads his cause with his master, and so sets himself as if he were Onesimus, and had himself done wrong to Philemon. Even as Christ did for us with God the Father, thus also does Paul for Onesimus with Philemon. We are all his Onesimi, to my thinking.” (Luther)
d. Not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides: While “accounts” were being studied, Paul mentioned one more thing. “Philemon, remember that I have a lot of credit on your account, because you owe me even your own self besides.” Paul could afford to pay Onesimus’ expenses because there was a sense in which Philemon owed Paul his salvation!